Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit
unused? Is it that you don't have time to use them because you have to
work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the
things we own somehow own us.
The bad news is that it's often
true. We have to arrange our lives around our things. You get a new
truck that can go anywhere, but you're too busy working to go there.
Someone is out fishing while you are putting in overtime to pay for your
fishing boat. You use your large-screen television a lot, but does it
sufficiently reduce the debt-stress that came with it?
Break The Chains!
The
good news is that there's a better way. Actually, there are three
better ways. First, know what you really value. Second, use cash instead
of debt. Third, learn how to look at costs and benefits.
Will
you really enjoy that $2,000 mountain bicycle enough? Maybe. This isn't
about right or wrong desires. It's a question of truly seeing your own
values. Think back to things you've bought but not used, or not used
enough. What truly enjoyable things could you do with that money if you
had it now? You've got to be self aware and honest.
Cash is king.
The price may seem the same, but put those things on a credit card and,
with interest, you'll pay a lot more. Cash means you have to save and
wait a little for things, but you can buy more and have less stress.
Credit cards provide the illusion of a richer life. Escaping debt gives
you the reality.
Finally, learn to understand costs and benefits.
A friend once came to the realization, using pen and paper, that his
jetski cost him $300 for every hour he used it the first year. Loan
interest, gas, insurance, depreciation, repairs, licenses - these things
add up. And he thought it was too expensive to pay $100 per day to rent
one! Consider the real costs of things, and look for a cheaper way, or
at least make an honest decision that it's worth $300 per hour to you.
Your
things should be making your life better. If they aren't, you need to
start looking at them differently. Don't let your things own you. Change
your approach.
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Learn How To Love Yourself
I'm sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself.
But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it's freezing outside?
Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.
When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.
When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.
Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let's say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She's four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you're always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).
All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her "Shut up!". You say "I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don't have time for you!"
How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she's getting aggressive from time to time. You think you're angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She's sad and angry because you don't care about her! You act as if she doesn't exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn't exist. This means trying to live as if WE don't exist.
The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!
How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child "Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you"? Awful isn't it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.
This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :"It doesn't matter, she doesn't love me, she doesn't want to take care of me, I'm not worth it", and she will get depressed.
Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents.
It is nobody's fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When, after getting depressed things still don't change, there's one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.
You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?
First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : "What happens, my darling?" Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : "Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel."
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : "I understand". These words are very important, because most of the time we don't feel very "normal" having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. "I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you."
Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :" What do you need?"
Whatever the Child answers, you say : "We will ask this of your Father".
And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child's desires in the world.
When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings ("I understand you're afraid…") and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn't have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.
Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
This is inner healing.
But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it's freezing outside?
Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.
When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.
When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.
Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let's say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She's four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you're always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).
All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her "Shut up!". You say "I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don't have time for you!"
How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she's getting aggressive from time to time. You think you're angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She's sad and angry because you don't care about her! You act as if she doesn't exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn't exist. This means trying to live as if WE don't exist.
The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!
How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child "Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you"? Awful isn't it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.
This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :"It doesn't matter, she doesn't love me, she doesn't want to take care of me, I'm not worth it", and she will get depressed.
Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents.
It is nobody's fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When, after getting depressed things still don't change, there's one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.
You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?
First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : "What happens, my darling?" Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : "Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel."
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : "I understand". These words are very important, because most of the time we don't feel very "normal" having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. "I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you."
Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :" What do you need?"
Whatever the Child answers, you say : "We will ask this of your Father".
And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child's desires in the world.
When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings ("I understand you're afraid…") and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn't have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.
Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
This is inner healing.
The Culture of Excess
We live in a society of gadgets and gizmos, of toys and more toys, of things that evoke feelings of luxury, style and class. This is available to almost everyone, not just a privileged few. This is the 21st century.
No other time of the year is it more prevalent, conspicuous and aggressively promoted than during the Christmas season.
Thanks to advances in technology, the airwaves, the print and electronic media are flooded with advertisements that appeal to society in general, to people from all walks of life.
Open any newspaper or magazine and indulge yourself with endless advertisement, appealing, titillating and surely tempting. You can't miss it, it's almost in every page and glares you in the face.
Turn on the computer and you can access more goods and services at the click of a mouse. Add to this endless ads and banners.
The young generation is brought up in this era of consumerism. They are introduced to a high maintenance lifestyle at a very young age. Gone are the days when shopping for children was fun. A time when it did not take much to make their young hearts happy. Life was simpler.
Times have surely changed. The trappings of good life is no longer the sole domain of the wealthy. Comfort, travel, wheels, homes, luxury, name it, it is within the reach of anyone who is willing to pay the price. It is no longer just a dream.
This is just the beginning of the conspicuous consumption of our society. In the name of convenience, there are more and more gadgets for the home introduced faster than one can pay off existing debt. However, this is not a deterrent.
It is no longer a matter of meeting a need, the "want" list gets longer and longer. Each member of a family has their own want list.
Technology is wonderful; it allows man to take great strides, faster and more accurate than our forbears. Technology makes it possible for man to explore space, the depths of the ocean, the untrodden parts of this earth. Through technology, man has made incredible advances in science, communication and the medical field. Technology is if great benefit to mankind.
It is very much a part of our daily lives. There is a downside- man wants more of the convenience that comes with it. It fuels the imagination of both producers and consumers. It stimulates the need to want more. It encourages the desire to pamper oneself, and loved ones with more goods.
Having more than what they need promotes a sense of living the good life. For every season, for every occasion, the market offers boundless ideas and endless flow of material goods. Beware, quality is slipping down too fast, as production and advertisement are cranked up higher, some of the quality is compromised.
The convenience that technology offers is hard to ignore. How did we manage before, when most of the chores were done manually? Imagine the time spent to get anything done?
Take a look around the house, push a button to get laundry or the dishes done. Press another button to start the car before you open the door. Set a timer for your coffeemaker, for your lights to come on at a desired time, your radio to wake you up. Wouldn't you be lost without that remote control?
What about the other gadgets and tools for the handyman? Look at the other things around the house to make living more convenient and definitely add to that feeling of comfort and luxury.
There's more. Communication is revolutionized. Each member of the family has to be wired. Watch the ads, imagine the convenience of having extra gadgets for each family member just for so much a month. Add to this the paraphernalia that goes with it, some of which are good to have but not a necessity. But does it matter? It becomes a must have.
The quest for material goods is at excessive proportions. It hits the very core of a person. Some can only measure success relative to their material possessions. Some identify their self-worth with material acquisitions. The words status and prestige are medals they wear proudly. Rightly so, if it makes them happy.
How much of these goods are on credit? How many sleepless nights are spent doing endless calculations and adjustments? Is there room for a quiet time that
comes at no cost? Or do they experience that feeling of emptiness amid a comfortable surroundings?
Does this culture of excess spell happiness and peace?
No other time of the year is it more prevalent, conspicuous and aggressively promoted than during the Christmas season.
Thanks to advances in technology, the airwaves, the print and electronic media are flooded with advertisements that appeal to society in general, to people from all walks of life.
Open any newspaper or magazine and indulge yourself with endless advertisement, appealing, titillating and surely tempting. You can't miss it, it's almost in every page and glares you in the face.
Turn on the computer and you can access more goods and services at the click of a mouse. Add to this endless ads and banners.
The young generation is brought up in this era of consumerism. They are introduced to a high maintenance lifestyle at a very young age. Gone are the days when shopping for children was fun. A time when it did not take much to make their young hearts happy. Life was simpler.
Times have surely changed. The trappings of good life is no longer the sole domain of the wealthy. Comfort, travel, wheels, homes, luxury, name it, it is within the reach of anyone who is willing to pay the price. It is no longer just a dream.
This is just the beginning of the conspicuous consumption of our society. In the name of convenience, there are more and more gadgets for the home introduced faster than one can pay off existing debt. However, this is not a deterrent.
It is no longer a matter of meeting a need, the "want" list gets longer and longer. Each member of a family has their own want list.
Technology is wonderful; it allows man to take great strides, faster and more accurate than our forbears. Technology makes it possible for man to explore space, the depths of the ocean, the untrodden parts of this earth. Through technology, man has made incredible advances in science, communication and the medical field. Technology is if great benefit to mankind.
It is very much a part of our daily lives. There is a downside- man wants more of the convenience that comes with it. It fuels the imagination of both producers and consumers. It stimulates the need to want more. It encourages the desire to pamper oneself, and loved ones with more goods.
Having more than what they need promotes a sense of living the good life. For every season, for every occasion, the market offers boundless ideas and endless flow of material goods. Beware, quality is slipping down too fast, as production and advertisement are cranked up higher, some of the quality is compromised.
The convenience that technology offers is hard to ignore. How did we manage before, when most of the chores were done manually? Imagine the time spent to get anything done?
Take a look around the house, push a button to get laundry or the dishes done. Press another button to start the car before you open the door. Set a timer for your coffeemaker, for your lights to come on at a desired time, your radio to wake you up. Wouldn't you be lost without that remote control?
What about the other gadgets and tools for the handyman? Look at the other things around the house to make living more convenient and definitely add to that feeling of comfort and luxury.
There's more. Communication is revolutionized. Each member of the family has to be wired. Watch the ads, imagine the convenience of having extra gadgets for each family member just for so much a month. Add to this the paraphernalia that goes with it, some of which are good to have but not a necessity. But does it matter? It becomes a must have.
The quest for material goods is at excessive proportions. It hits the very core of a person. Some can only measure success relative to their material possessions. Some identify their self-worth with material acquisitions. The words status and prestige are medals they wear proudly. Rightly so, if it makes them happy.
How much of these goods are on credit? How many sleepless nights are spent doing endless calculations and adjustments? Is there room for a quiet time that
comes at no cost? Or do they experience that feeling of emptiness amid a comfortable surroundings?
Does this culture of excess spell happiness and peace?
Journaling For Happiness And Spiritual Well-Being
Could a journal actually lead one to health and well-being? As both a writer and health enthusiast, this is a question I've given lots of thought to. As it turns out, I'm not the only one. Upon further research, there's been a considerable amount of press given to the idea that your journal could be a path to health and wellness. In fact, Southern Methodist University and Ohio State University College of Medicine studied the effects of creative journaling and found it conclusive in cleansing negative emotions and promoting a sense of well-being
(ref: http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/health/journal.html).
In my own experience as a writer (and I think most creative types will agree) being creative is not just an exercise, work or discipline - it's a necessity. In fact, I never quite understood my own personality until I was immersed full-time in a purely science, left-brained college program. I would often feel tired, lethargic and uninspired (clearly there was more at fault here than having to memorize the phone book).
According to Carl Jung and Myers-Briggs (the creators of standardized personality and interest testing) introverted types draw energy from themselves and less from other people. We like to be alone a lot and give lots of thought to the world at large. Our extroverted counterparts, on the other hand, can also be equally as creative, but tend to draw their energy from others. Either way you go, emotions can sometimes become overwhelming, need to be filtered then let go.
Over time, (even amidst the sterile science program) I've learned that I can find peace quickly by turning to my notebook when upset or in need of inspiration. And - I'd be willing to guess - this idea is not exclusive to the right-brained.
So back to the original thesis: Regardless of personality, can writing be useful to you and your health? Hopefully, by now I've convinced you it can. How to get journaling working for you? Well, that's where I'll step in - here I've given you three of my favorite exercises to help get you started.
Timed Writings
In her book Writing Down The Bones, Natalie Goldberg has outlined a sure-fire method to invoke the muses and get the inspiration flowing. Timed writings.
Timed writings go something like this... collect your materials: timer, notebook and pen. Sit at your desk or wherever the spirit takes you (Starbucks, Borders, Barnes & Noble) launch your timer for ten minutes, place pen to paper and see what comes forth.
There are only two rules at play here: don't stop writing and continue for the full ten minutes. Afraid you'll run out of things to write? No problem. When you get stuck just keep the hand moving along and write things like, "I am looking for something to write.... I am looking for something to write..." before you know it you'll be carrying on a conversation with yourself.
Unsent Letters
Anger is always a good muse, but I tend to use this emotion as a catalyst to creativity. Something or someone upsetting you? Get creative and purge your negative energy. How? Write a letter. You won't need to send it. In fact as a ritual to closure I have been known to write angry letters then shred them, burn them or (insert your idea here). In fact this exercise has been shown to heal negative energy and provoke closure with angry emotions. Try it - then let me know (Laura mailto:NewBodyNews@aol.com ).
Creative Journaling Exercises
When I am feeling less that inspired, or want to get the muses warmed up I sometimes like to take creative writing classes online or off, or do some creative journaling exercises. If you like the idea of sharing your writing, take a creative writing course nearby. Check your local Chamber of Commerce or if you prefer the convenience of online classes there's lots to choose from. I've taken courses online at Barnes and Noble University http://www.barnesandnoble.com/ and Gotham Writers' Workshops: http://www.writingclasses.com both with positive results.
However, if you'd like to go it solo, give this exercise a try. This one was created by my Mother, Donna. She is a writer, artist and teacher (a real right-brainer!), she handed this exercise to me when I was feeling stuck and uninspired. Not only does this exercise stimulate your creativity, use this healthy exercise to get you thinking about taking time for yourself.
Have your notebook ready? Set your timer again if you'd like and aim to come up with the list "20 things that make me happy." If your time was entirely your own, what are the 20 things you'd want to do?
Ready? Now hit your timer and take this one for a test drive. When you've finished, put your pen and paper away.
Tomorrow take a few quiet moments and bring out your list again, add delete and edit. Now when you're not feeling like yourself, take this list out and copy it over again. Try to take time everyday to do one thing that makes you happy and continue over time to add to your list. Keep up your practice and you'll find - happiness is not just a fixture in your mind.
(ref: http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/health/journal.html).
In my own experience as a writer (and I think most creative types will agree) being creative is not just an exercise, work or discipline - it's a necessity. In fact, I never quite understood my own personality until I was immersed full-time in a purely science, left-brained college program. I would often feel tired, lethargic and uninspired (clearly there was more at fault here than having to memorize the phone book).
According to Carl Jung and Myers-Briggs (the creators of standardized personality and interest testing) introverted types draw energy from themselves and less from other people. We like to be alone a lot and give lots of thought to the world at large. Our extroverted counterparts, on the other hand, can also be equally as creative, but tend to draw their energy from others. Either way you go, emotions can sometimes become overwhelming, need to be filtered then let go.
Over time, (even amidst the sterile science program) I've learned that I can find peace quickly by turning to my notebook when upset or in need of inspiration. And - I'd be willing to guess - this idea is not exclusive to the right-brained.
So back to the original thesis: Regardless of personality, can writing be useful to you and your health? Hopefully, by now I've convinced you it can. How to get journaling working for you? Well, that's where I'll step in - here I've given you three of my favorite exercises to help get you started.
Timed Writings
In her book Writing Down The Bones, Natalie Goldberg has outlined a sure-fire method to invoke the muses and get the inspiration flowing. Timed writings.
Timed writings go something like this... collect your materials: timer, notebook and pen. Sit at your desk or wherever the spirit takes you (Starbucks, Borders, Barnes & Noble) launch your timer for ten minutes, place pen to paper and see what comes forth.
There are only two rules at play here: don't stop writing and continue for the full ten minutes. Afraid you'll run out of things to write? No problem. When you get stuck just keep the hand moving along and write things like, "I am looking for something to write.... I am looking for something to write..." before you know it you'll be carrying on a conversation with yourself.
Unsent Letters
Anger is always a good muse, but I tend to use this emotion as a catalyst to creativity. Something or someone upsetting you? Get creative and purge your negative energy. How? Write a letter. You won't need to send it. In fact as a ritual to closure I have been known to write angry letters then shred them, burn them or (insert your idea here). In fact this exercise has been shown to heal negative energy and provoke closure with angry emotions. Try it - then let me know (Laura mailto:NewBodyNews@aol.com ).
Creative Journaling Exercises
When I am feeling less that inspired, or want to get the muses warmed up I sometimes like to take creative writing classes online or off, or do some creative journaling exercises. If you like the idea of sharing your writing, take a creative writing course nearby. Check your local Chamber of Commerce or if you prefer the convenience of online classes there's lots to choose from. I've taken courses online at Barnes and Noble University http://www.barnesandnoble.com/ and Gotham Writers' Workshops: http://www.writingclasses.com both with positive results.
However, if you'd like to go it solo, give this exercise a try. This one was created by my Mother, Donna. She is a writer, artist and teacher (a real right-brainer!), she handed this exercise to me when I was feeling stuck and uninspired. Not only does this exercise stimulate your creativity, use this healthy exercise to get you thinking about taking time for yourself.
Have your notebook ready? Set your timer again if you'd like and aim to come up with the list "20 things that make me happy." If your time was entirely your own, what are the 20 things you'd want to do?
Ready? Now hit your timer and take this one for a test drive. When you've finished, put your pen and paper away.
Tomorrow take a few quiet moments and bring out your list again, add delete and edit. Now when you're not feeling like yourself, take this list out and copy it over again. Try to take time everyday to do one thing that makes you happy and continue over time to add to your list. Keep up your practice and you'll find - happiness is not just a fixture in your mind.
Create More Romance In Your Life
Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling, that most glorious intertwining of two hearts. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting, and so often for so many once gone never to return. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?
Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.
But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?
The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.
Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.
True romance isn't just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.
So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don't love yourself first, you can't truly love another.
And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you'll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.
Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.
But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?
The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.
Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.
True romance isn't just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.
So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don't love yourself first, you can't truly love another.
And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you'll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.
An Article On Perfectionism
'Perfectionism' is a most prevalent belief in our civilization. Notice that I used the word 'belief'.
Everywhere in this world of ours, perfectionism is regarded as good and desirable while imperfection is deem as bad or negative. Everybody wants everybody else to be perfect. Bosses want their employees to be flawless on the job. Parents want their kids to be the best. Perfectionists want their work and themselves to be perfect.
Since it is so strongly regarded as being positive, is Perfectionism really an absolute or universal value? In my opinion, it is not so.
To me, it is relative and is born of human conception. Perfection is an idea. It is an idea of a perceived ideal state of affair. However, things are the way they are. For every circumstances, the truth is what is at each instance. Perfection and imperfection are therefore merely attached values.
I am not suggesting that perfectionism is not good. I am suggesting that perhaps perfectionism can cast a controlling net over our expression of happiness. One can reach the required goal with or without being a perfectionist. To be a perfectionist, on the other hand, leave very little room for one to accept and love oneself unconditionally when a desired goal is not met. And when our desires are not met, we feel unhappy or cannot be fully satisfied. However, the truth is we only have each moment of the Present Moment to live in. By being perfectionist, our mind will be forever planning and thinking about the future or lamenting about what went wrong in the past. Because of these tendencies, many perfectionists are unable to feel satisfaction because in their perception they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling of contentment.
From this, we can see a paradox of life. That is:
"How can one have perfect peace, self-love and joy when one is a perfectionist? "
Thank you for reading.
20 Ways To Make Someone Smile
Here are 20 ways to turn that frown upside down.
1. Send some flowers to your partner at work.
2. Compliment a friend or work colleague on their appearance.
3. Donate something to charity.
4. Take a friend out to lunch.
5. Let someone know you miss them.
6. Make a surprise telephone call to your partner at work, just to say hi.
7. Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8. Hug your partner for no reason.
9. Leave a joke on a friends answer machine.
10. Send a card to a friend letting them know what a good friend they are.
11. Give up your seat on the train to someone when there aren't any left.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. When it's raining, plan an indoor picnic with your children.
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unusual and unexpected gift like chocolate, flowers or sex toys.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them.
18. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Tell your partner you love them.
Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.
Here are 5 more facts about smiling.
1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.
Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.
You Make Me Feel
Do they make you feel happy or sad?
I'm curious. How do they make you feel this way?
Do they say, "Hey, here's a tin of sadness."
Or maybe they say, "Ahh, you need a bucket of happiness. Hold on, I've got one here you can have."
Can you find happiness or sadness on the supermarket shelves, pre-packaged and ready to go?
Shopaholics amongst you would argue that you could; however I would say you can't.
We often rely on other people to "make" us feel a certain way. We rely on them to do something, say something, be something in order for us to feel happy. If they don't do what we are expecting them to, we get upset, sad and hurt.
In short, we often attempt to control other people in order to control how we feel; that is, our emotions.
And when we do this, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because we can't control anyone else. We cannot force anyone to do anything or assume they will.
There is just one person we control; ourselves.
People don't make us feel certain emotions. We choose to feel them. We decide to react in a certain way. We make assumptions about what people mean. We leap to conclusions.
No one can give you a tin of unhappiness, or a bucket of joy. These things are not physical items that can be passed from person to person. They are intangible items that exist only in ourselves.
In fact just the other day I was at a wedding. I told one of my friends how wonderful she looked and how much I liked her outfit. She leapt to the conclusion that I was being sarcastic and chose to be offended by what was a genuine compliment.
Had I even been being sarcastic, she could have chosen to be complimented and replied with a, "I'm glad you like it" and felt better about herself.
There was a guy I knew when I was younger. He was short, balding, spotty and he had been short changed in the looks department. Yet whenever we went out to bars, he'd wander up to any pretty woman and start talking to her. If she turned him down, he'd shrug his shoulders and continue.
I don't think it ever even occurred to him to feel bad about these rejections. He'd just smile and say, "Your loss" and move on to the next one.
Believe it or not, each of you are in control of yourself and how you feel. You can choose to feel anyway you want. Right now, you could choose to feel happy; or I am sure you could choose to feel sad. Just by thinking about it, you could change how you feel.
It's almost magic isn't it?
So what about choosing how you feel when you are interacting with other people?
The vast majority of people run on auto-pilot. They allow their body and mind to more or less get on with it, not worrying too much about the programs that are running or the condition of it. It doesn't interfere with them too much so they allow it to get on with it.
It's like watching all the cars driving around a city and not realising there is someone inside controlling them.
Most people have forgotten there is this "person" inside of them controlling them.
If you choose, you can take back control of how you feel and stop relying on other people to meet certain conditions.
When you go to the office and someone says, "Good Morning" to you, you can choose to grumble and mutter, "There's nothing good about it." Or, you can choose to reply in kind and say, "It's a fantastic morning."
That is, you can choose to feel bad or choose to feel good.
Which do you prefer?
Realise that you are the only person who can make you feel anything and stop allowing the people around you to make you feel bad. Decide to feel good and enjoy yourself.
If someone turns you down or rejects you, "It's their loss" or something similar.
If someone says insults you, "Poor thing, must be confused" or something similar.
Decide to take back control of yourself and your life and to stop being on auto-pilot. Choose how you are going to feel instead of allowing other people to choose for you.
Quiz - Can Money Buy Happiness?
What gets us happiness? We get happiness by doing what we like. We do not get happiness by forcing us to do what we do not want to do. Our happiness comes from our satisfaction of doing our heart felt desires. Our contentment comes from that. Money can destroy friendships, and break family relations. The more money you have, the more people expect from you. If you refuse, your relationship goes downhill. Sometimes I wonder if we have more than our minimum requirement of money, will we be happy at all?
If you have a giving nature, money can buy you happiness of a different kind. When you visit an orphanage, and are able to donate as much as they want to feed the small kids, you will feel a sense of genuine happiness. Money can make you do good things in life that make others happy. When you make others happy, you become happy.
Money can help you do that. No expensive dinner can make you feel as happy as the smile on the face of parents to whom you have given money for their childrens medicine.
Do you want to achieve fulfilment, success and true hapiness?
As you are reading these words, you may be thinking about and looking for a way to improve your sense of fulfilment, success and true happiness in your life.
It seems that some people nearly always attain success in relationships, business and personal fulfilment, while others in similar circumstances may do well, but never seem to reach the higher levels.
We often say they are "lucky" but I suggest that luck has nothing to do with it.
What does have everything to do with it are the following six factors.
They are the areas which every one of us need to improve in order to attain personal fulfilment, success and happiness. Which of these would you wish to improve?
1. Self-image.
Your beliefs about your self affect how you feel and how you appear to others. Your self-confidence and self-worth are the result of your self-image.
2. Self Control.
The true fact is that either you control your life or you are controlled by it.
3. Creativity.
In its broadest sense it is the artist and the scientist within you, who solves your problems and brings new ideas.
4. Cooperation.
No man is an island, and the successful person will be expert at communication skills, persuading and encouraging others to make his own and their shared goals come true.
5. Planning.
It is said, that "If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up somewhere else". If someone doesn't have clear and focused goals, they cannot complain if the "somewhere else" is not to their liking.
6. Concentration.
Willingness to get going, concentrated effort, persistence and resilience in the face of obstacles - all are crucial to success in achieving life goals.
Conceptions in Healing the Hidden Self
Developing our concepts will assist us with conjuring up new ideas and perceptions that lead us to healing the hidden self. Through theorizing, shuffling, and developing new ideas we can change our view on life by changing our main beliefs and perceptions.
The common human must consistently maneuver through the healing process by re-training selves to think positive and seek success. Believing that you have the power within to success will assist you with approaches you will need to take to live a better life. You will react differently in each situation, which better decision-making will allow you to reap rewards.
Healing the hidden self and your self-perceptions will take you a long way to the success, since you will shuffle through your failures to avoid making redundant mistakes. Our inner self-perceptions are major influences in our life. We must endeavor to change misconceptions that lead us astray to ensure that we are developing positive self-perceptions. We must continue to attain more successes in our life. Healing of the hidden self and the way we believe and perceive will open the doors; typically, we may close in our own face. By changing the way one believes and perceives, it can help one to develop and grow into a well-rounded, balanced person.
Conceptions are our origin. From the start, we all develop ideas, notions, thoughts, etc from influences, impressions, observation, educational sources, parents, and so on. We develop hypothesizes and ideas from our understanding of the way we comprehend and perceive.
By understanding, our ways of learning we can shuffle through the mud puddles successfully, reform, and transform the mind. Still, behaviors and habits must be considered.
Behaviors and habits form from our conceptions, rather the influences that leave impressions on the way we perceive. The bible tells us that "Bad influences," reflect on our personality and conceptions and ultimately can encourage bad behaviors and habits. Useful habits then must be developed through positive influences.
With this fact in sight, now you can work through healing the self by examining your influences. Think of the people in your life. If these people are not bringing something to your table, thus they are only hindering you from healing the hidden self. You must consider removing bad influences; otherwise, you may stay stuck in the same pattern.
Who are influences?
Influences are people, places, things, et cetera. Consider all the nouns and you will find the answer. Influences include effects, stimulus, inspirations, persuasion, manipulations, control, authority, pressure, weight, power, etc and all influences shape our personality. That is if we all them to.
When you examine influences in your life, also consider your environment. Does your environment hinder you in some way from achieving your goal to heal the hidden self? If so, then you must consider moving to a better environment.
Does your job hinder you from achieving your goal to heal the hidden self? Despite that, employees and employers may have a positive attitude that reflects on you, your job may have a powerful influence that affects your life. For example, if an artist is working in a Pop Shop, likely this person despite positive attitudes surround he will feel a sense of emptiness. Thus, to relieve the emptiness this person must explore his abilities, skills, potentials, etc and move to change his career. Only until the artist finds his purpose in life will he find a sense of healing of the hidden self.
We must also consider our main beliefs to adapt to new conceptions and ideas that assist us with healing the hidden self.
What is happiness?
Are you happy? Many of us are not sure about that. Happiness also can not be defined so easily. Most of us are not living happily. That is the curse of modern age. Try and make yourself as happy as possible amongst all the stresses and tensions.
What is happiness? When I say that I am feeling happy, it may mean that I just got something that I love. That makes me happy. Have you ever seen at the photographs of people who have won a big lottery? They look so happy. Meet them after few years, when they have already spent all their money, and you will find the same person very unhappy. A married couple looks happy while getting married. Meet them after few years in the Divorce court and you will know that happiness was not their nature, but only a reaction to circumstances.
Can we remain happy at all times? It is difficult, but one can surely try. Decide to smile and feel happy at all the times. Even if you learn that you have suffered a big loss, be happy. Sounds foolish? But this can be done. And no amount of unhappiness will ever get you the money back. But happiness under all conditions will give you the confidence and strength to fight against all the odds and come out as a winner.
What is happiness? When I say that I am feeling happy, it may mean that I just got something that I love. That makes me happy. Have you ever seen at the photographs of people who have won a big lottery? They look so happy. Meet them after few years, when they have already spent all their money, and you will find the same person very unhappy. A married couple looks happy while getting married. Meet them after few years in the Divorce court and you will know that happiness was not their nature, but only a reaction to circumstances.
Can we remain happy at all times? It is difficult, but one can surely try. Decide to smile and feel happy at all the times. Even if you learn that you have suffered a big loss, be happy. Sounds foolish? But this can be done. And no amount of unhappiness will ever get you the money back. But happiness under all conditions will give you the confidence and strength to fight against all the odds and come out as a winner.
Happiness is the Path to the Productive Workplace
First, it is important to understand that the average person is only productive 5 hours a day, yet our average workday is 8 hours with fewer people taking breaks and vacations than ever before. Second, it is also important to differentiate between the higher living standard of Americans and happiness. Our higher living standard is due mostly to our long work hours and higher spending patterns, yet that standard does not make Americans more productive, nor does it make people happy. In fact, it only serves to make us more exhausted. The American Dream Project goes on to explain that this exhaustion decreases our productivity while pushing us into activities that are not necessarily correlated to happiness, but just escapism.
So how can employers maximize productivity while decreasing stress? Focus on your employees. According to the Great Place to Work Institute, the companies with the happiest employees are also the most productive. However, contrary to popular belief, money does not buy happiness in the workplace. In fact, there is very little correlation between making over $50,000 per year and happiness in general. For most people, happiness is about low stress, trust, and a feeling that they matter.
If happiness comes from trust and a feeling that they matter, then what are some things an organization can do to foster those feelings? Primarily, a company needs to have a management team that builds that sense of trust and caring. One way to bring about the caring environment is to provide services that enhance the employees' lives, like a concierge service.
Concierge services provided as an employee benefit gives employees a tangible view that their employer cares about their personal needs as well as their productivity. This promotes loyalty and productivity. It is a useful and inexpensive way to provide for employees needs, and it will help in lowering employee's stress levels. In fact, one company funded a study that showed 62 percent of employees would like help in getting things done and believed that the help would lower the stress in their lives. Also, 50 percent of those surveyed would pay to have more time with their families.
Those statistics reinforce the American Dream Project's assertion that happiness is not necessarily tied to money, but to lifestyle. If you feel like your company could use a little boost in productivity and employee loyalty, then maybe it is time to really look at what your employees need. Check out concierge services to add just a little light into your employees' lives and see how your work environment changes to a positive, productive workplace.
A Gold Medal in Love
Love is what has been eluding her. She has had many relationships, but none that have transpired into anything beyond just a relationship. Her latest relationship with Scott seemed to be destined to the same scenario.
Since two years old, Jenny's life has been all about skating. Her intensive training has obviously paid off professionally because of her gold medals, but personally, even her trainer, Yon, cannot stand to be around her. It was five days until the Women's Olympic medal competition.
Yon asked her, "Do you think that you're gonna find that special guy like that girl did in that movie, 'The Cutting Edge?'" he said in his Russian accent. "You are ten times the spoiled brat that she was." "Absolutely," said Jen. "I'm Jenny Kilmer. America's Sweetheart. Every man wants me." "Until they get to know you," Yon retorted. "But they get together in the end." "Actors get together in the end, not skaters!" "Whatever, Yon." "You know I am right. Scott is on to you like the others. You don't need anybody. No one is gonna tell the great Jenny Kilmer what to do! What has it cost you?" "Allright, allright, Yon." "Have you not learned anything about love since we've been working together? Since you were 16? When it comes to love, you still talk like a 16-year old. Your mother and your father are at their rope's end with you. Your agents put up with you because you make them money." "Why are you still here, Yon? You can coach anyone you want. You've got your five gold's with me. What's keeping you here?" "I want to see you come full circle. You've got nothing more to prove in skaing. The pressure is totally off of you in this Olympics. I am partly to blame for you being the way that you are. I have pushed you too much for too long." "So, what are you saying?" "I have made my dreams into your dreams and I am sorry. I want you to win the Gold Medal…in love." "But, why are you saying this now? After all this time?" "Scott loves you with all of his heart. Do you remember when you broke your ankle two years ago at the Nationals when you tried the quadruple lutz? He went on to the ice and carried you off. He doesn't care about your skating. He cares about you! He cancelled a multimillion-dollar building project to be with you for two weeks after your injury. He lost dollars after dollars for his company, got demoted and risked getting fired for you. He slept in the chair in your hospital room for two weeks! That's love! Scott is one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you cannot see this. You are headed to becoming a bitter old maid! You've got another half-hour till practice is over. Skating- it's what you're best at. Go on!"
For one of the first times in her 36 years, Jen Kilmer was silenced, but not without tears of sadness and despair. She could not stop crying…even after practice ended.
The next day, Kilmer fell time after time attempting to do a quadruple lutz. Very few skaters have ever successfully done the quad lutz.
Yon coached Kilmer, "You are not falling because you don't know how to do the quad lutz. You are falling because Scott has not called in a week." "What else am I gonna do, Yon?" Kilmer asked. "Call him again and apologize to him – for real this time. At least you'll know you've tried. If you don't see him again, so be it."
The day of the Women's medal event arrived. Several of Kilmer's competitors had subpar performances, which eased the pressure even more for her. Still…her pressure was not on the ice. She could probably do a very safe program and still win the gold.
Jenny and Yon were in the locker room. Kilmer was stretching as part of her warmup routine. She spoke apathetically to Yon. "Scott's not gonna show, Yon. I've pushed him away like all the other guys before him. I've been the biggest bitch to him. He put up with so much of my crap. I won't be able to show any of my children my gold medals because there won't be any husband to start a family," she said confessingly as she started to cry. " I AM gonna be a bitter old skating commentator for some TV network and I'll smile my typical smile and show to the world that Jen Kilmer is the happiest woman in the world. I'm such a phony."
Kilmer's name was announced on the public address, which meant that it was time for her two-minute warmup before her program.
Kilmer skated gracefully and confidently as usual. She was a skating legend. In her mind, she was just going through the motions. She nailed some practice double and triple lutzes, which she could do in her sleep.
As she skated toward her coach, she formed a puzzled look on her face. Yon was smiling and laughing next to a man who had his back turned to her. Jenny braked and as the man who was laughing with Yon turned around.
"Scott," Jenny said straining to say his name. She was finally able to get her breath. "Why? Why are you here? I thought I lost you." "That's what Yon thought too until I called him," said Scott. "You called Yon, but you didn't call me?" "Don't push it." I love you, Scott," she said. "Thank you for being with me after I broke my ankle. You've always been there for me and I've treated you like crap. Like I told you on your message-phone, I am so sorry." "All is forgiven, my dear. You can thank Yon for it." Kilmer smiled at her coach. "I'm doing the quad lutz. And I'm gonna nail it!" "Are you insane? If you wanna win a sixth gold, don't go for the quadruple lutz! You were lucky four years ago, but remember what you did last year in the Nationals? You fell flat on your ass!" Yon reminded her. "I'm gonna have fun this time, Yon. For the first time in the Olympics, I'm gonna have fun because I finally got everything that I've wanted. This is it. After this skate, I'm done. I've won the gold this year." Yon nodded his head with approval and a slight smile. Scott had a puzzled look on his face. "You haven't skated yet." "Oh yes I DO HAVE the gold," she took Scott in her arms. "He's right here and I'm never gonna let him go," she sniffled. "I have five gold medals. Now I want some babies. Will you marry me?" "Yes!" said Scott surprised. "I love you, Jen with every bone in my body."
Scott and Jenny kissed passionately as a couple of Olympic officials walked up to Yon to let him know that his skater was next. When they were done kissing, Yon tapped Jen on the shoulder. "Well then," said Yon, "You've got one more skating duty. As you said, have fun." He smiled widely. As her named was announced, Kilmer skated onto the ice with the biggest grin she ever had on her face. The crowd's applause had never been louder for America's Sweetheart. Kilmer could not hold back the tears of joy. She knew it was her last skate. Jenny Kilmer had won the gold even before her program. She won the gold medal in love.
Be Happy! Happiness is just a Matter of Mind
Though one could be infinitely happy by just enjoying the nature and family and all the human-made things, there are still millions of people who are unhappy. In the developed countries there is very fortunate circumstance of having both God-given and man-made things. Still majority of people there are unhappy. In the developing countries, where for millions there is a real scarcity of even basic needs, people seem to be happy. There are some people who are engaged in difficult tasks and in warfare, and even incarcerated in prisons, and are still happy! We have just discussed the factors of happiness. Millions of people have them, still they are unhappy. There are millions of others who don't have them, yet they are happy!
You would realize that the mere availability and abundance of God given and human-made things is not enough. There is something else which should be right to be happy. Of course, it is our mind that must have right attitude towards and capacity to be happy.
Milton in Paradise Lost says,
'The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.'
One can give various examples of how mind can influence our body::
• Pavlov's dog starts salivating at the sound of the bell without any food in sight.
• If we are tense we often get headache, backache, and spondylitis, etc.
• Heart attacks are directly linked to worry and tension.
• Right mental attitude helps in curing many bodily maladies.
• By self-talk, motivation, and positive attitude we can become happy and successful.
• Through hypnosis one can have command over another person's mind and body.
• Through meditation one can have a healthy body and extra sensory abilities.
Mind has extra-ordinary powers and as far as happiness is concerned it has the ultimate power. We should, therefore, have a positive attitude towards life. Instead of concentrating on bad things in life and people, we should concentrate on redeeming features in them. We should not keep on thinking about past failures and bad experiences but be encouraged by our past success and good experiences. Similarly, we should not be unduly anxious about future as our anxiety is not going to have a positive effect, but we should plan and work hard for the future.
In whatever circumstances you are, you can never have total lack of God-given and man-made happiness. You cannot completely take away nature from somebody; you cannot take away all man-made things from somebody. Even if everything is taken, one's family and friends are there. One's precious body is there. And, even if you chain somebody securely in a dungeon, one's mind is free. One is free to be happy in one's mind! Mind is difficult to be mastered by oneself, but it is impossible to be vanquished by anybody, any authority, or whatever conditions or situations.
Abraham Lincoln has beautifully expressed it: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
BE HAPPY!
You would realize that the mere availability and abundance of God given and human-made things is not enough. There is something else which should be right to be happy. Of course, it is our mind that must have right attitude towards and capacity to be happy.
Milton in Paradise Lost says,
'The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.'
One can give various examples of how mind can influence our body::
• Pavlov's dog starts salivating at the sound of the bell without any food in sight.
• If we are tense we often get headache, backache, and spondylitis, etc.
• Heart attacks are directly linked to worry and tension.
• Right mental attitude helps in curing many bodily maladies.
• By self-talk, motivation, and positive attitude we can become happy and successful.
• Through hypnosis one can have command over another person's mind and body.
• Through meditation one can have a healthy body and extra sensory abilities.
Mind has extra-ordinary powers and as far as happiness is concerned it has the ultimate power. We should, therefore, have a positive attitude towards life. Instead of concentrating on bad things in life and people, we should concentrate on redeeming features in them. We should not keep on thinking about past failures and bad experiences but be encouraged by our past success and good experiences. Similarly, we should not be unduly anxious about future as our anxiety is not going to have a positive effect, but we should plan and work hard for the future.
In whatever circumstances you are, you can never have total lack of God-given and man-made happiness. You cannot completely take away nature from somebody; you cannot take away all man-made things from somebody. Even if everything is taken, one's family and friends are there. One's precious body is there. And, even if you chain somebody securely in a dungeon, one's mind is free. One is free to be happy in one's mind! Mind is difficult to be mastered by oneself, but it is impossible to be vanquished by anybody, any authority, or whatever conditions or situations.
Abraham Lincoln has beautifully expressed it: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
BE HAPPY!
Is It Really Possible To Find Real Happiness?
I used to ask myself this question "how do you find real happiness" day after day after day. It just seemed to be so elusive and as I looked around at other people who seemed to be so happy I just wondered why I was so different – or was I?
I did not enjoy the drudgery of going to a job that I didn't particularly like but when I began to work for myself I thought that that would change – I did enjoy what I was doing and although I had some happy times there was still something missing.
I read a lot of books and decided that if I earned lots more money then that would make the difference and then I would be truly happy and would then have a peace and contentment in my life – well I did earn more one year but that didn't find me the happiness I yearned for. It must have been that I hadn't earned enough and this went on and on until I eventually realised that no matter what I earned it just didn't give me these real feelings of happiness and contentment – not permanently anyway because of course there were the temporary highs when I was able to go cruising around the Caribbean.
I had a lovely family and yes of course I enjoyed life but as before there really was something missing – it was like there was a vast hole in my life and I just didn't know how and where I was going to find what I was looking for.
We all have out highs and lows in life and I think the time has to be right for that miraculous event to take place and boy that sure happened to me – it was like a bolt out of the blue and totally unexpected – I had found my maker, the Lord God when I just had not been looking for him at all – rather HE found me.
I just had to write my experiences down because I've just never felt so happy and at peace in my entire life – of course I get some bad days, don't we all but they are so rare it's incredible – this record of my experiences were read by others who said that I should turn them into a book because of what it might do for others – well I've done just that and some of the "feedback" I've had has made me cry tears of joy – I just bless the day that Jesus came into my life.
A recent testimonial, exerts of which are included below, show just why I want this book to reach and touch people who are looking for what I've found.
I LAVISHED your book. My life was in shambles; my wife had divorced me and tonight I was in such a state of despair that I had rung my Mother to tell her that suicide was my only option - after reading your book I have a peace about me that I have not had since I was 19 and I'm 56 now. Thank you thank you for allowing God to speak through you to me - I now feel a complete relief from all the pain and misery I have known for the past 37 years and I thank you for saving my life - actually GOD SAVED MY LIFE but you threw me the life preserver - may God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.
Roy Thompson, Atlanta, Georgia - royjrthompson@bellsouth.net
I did not enjoy the drudgery of going to a job that I didn't particularly like but when I began to work for myself I thought that that would change – I did enjoy what I was doing and although I had some happy times there was still something missing.
I read a lot of books and decided that if I earned lots more money then that would make the difference and then I would be truly happy and would then have a peace and contentment in my life – well I did earn more one year but that didn't find me the happiness I yearned for. It must have been that I hadn't earned enough and this went on and on until I eventually realised that no matter what I earned it just didn't give me these real feelings of happiness and contentment – not permanently anyway because of course there were the temporary highs when I was able to go cruising around the Caribbean.
I had a lovely family and yes of course I enjoyed life but as before there really was something missing – it was like there was a vast hole in my life and I just didn't know how and where I was going to find what I was looking for.
We all have out highs and lows in life and I think the time has to be right for that miraculous event to take place and boy that sure happened to me – it was like a bolt out of the blue and totally unexpected – I had found my maker, the Lord God when I just had not been looking for him at all – rather HE found me.
I just had to write my experiences down because I've just never felt so happy and at peace in my entire life – of course I get some bad days, don't we all but they are so rare it's incredible – this record of my experiences were read by others who said that I should turn them into a book because of what it might do for others – well I've done just that and some of the "feedback" I've had has made me cry tears of joy – I just bless the day that Jesus came into my life.
A recent testimonial, exerts of which are included below, show just why I want this book to reach and touch people who are looking for what I've found.
I LAVISHED your book. My life was in shambles; my wife had divorced me and tonight I was in such a state of despair that I had rung my Mother to tell her that suicide was my only option - after reading your book I have a peace about me that I have not had since I was 19 and I'm 56 now. Thank you thank you for allowing God to speak through you to me - I now feel a complete relief from all the pain and misery I have known for the past 37 years and I thank you for saving my life - actually GOD SAVED MY LIFE but you threw me the life preserver - may God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.
Roy Thompson, Atlanta, Georgia - royjrthompson@bellsouth.net
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